Andra, a Flyer and the Missionars (in short: Andra’s epic win)

“What is that?”, Andra wondered pointing at what looked like a long table with a group of four or five people standing behind the table. The table was standing right on the pavement and we were just heading from the pub to a club.

Lubor started walking sharply to the left to investigate the unusual table sight.

The next thing we knew was that the people behind the table were a christian group giving out free hot drinks to anyone. Whilst we waited for the coffee Lubor had asked for two of the Christians started talking to Andra and me about life in general and Christianity more specifically.

“Do you really think that this is what Got wants?” asked one of the Christians after Andra had let it slip that we were on our way to a gay club.

“At least he didn’t try to stop us so far”, Andra replied not hiding the fact that she had taken offence over that last question.

“Are we all good to go?”, Lubor turned up with a plastic mug full of hot coffee in his hand looking from Andra to me and back.

“Oh yeah, we are.” Andra said without hesitation.

“Guys, before you go….” the Christian started fiddling in his shirt’s chest pocket, produced a flyer and handed it over to Andra “I want you to have this. It’s an invitation to church. Remember that God loves you and that Jesus is…”

Andra interrupted: “Yeah, I think I’ll keep that flyer well and warm and in a place close to my heart”. And then she stuffed the flyer right down into her (impressive) cleavage.

The Christian’s mouth stood open.

“It never has been treated that warmly, has it?”, Andra asked before getting into motion.

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In this case I may have been a bit slow over a couple of years – or: I can’t explain why this slipped my pink radar

In case you do not know Kate Bush’s song “Kashka from Baghdad”you should really listen to it (here are the lyrics). In case you don’t know who Kate Bush is, you’re pardoned if you’re below a certain age, if you happen to be above a certain age and a British citizen and don’t know who Kate Bush is there should be a legal possibility to revoke your citizenship (after all she is one of the greatest British musicians of our time).

Whilst I know who Kate Bush is and have listened to Kashka from Baghdad number of times I never realised that Kashka is a male name. I always thought the song is about a woman fleeing an unhappy marriage and then living “with another man” somewhere else and this is the reason why Kashka lives “in sin”.

But now (after a couple of years admittedly) that I figured out that Kashka is a male name I realise that the reason why Kashka lives “in sin” is that he lives with “another man” as opposed to living with a woman.

So there’s a really great (gay) song that I knew and I never realised how gay it was until now.

My head is hung in shame.

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That was sweet. Thanks to the unidentified easter bunny

This morning to which I wasn’t looking forward after the long weekend (sorry to all of you who live in areas where you didn’t have a long weekend) I found several, well: two, lovely surprises in the form of easter eggs.

One was “hidden” on top of the computer screen (possibly to make the search easier?) and the second one taped on the inside of the folder lying on top of my desk.

At least this week starts very sweet – for me.

The unidentified easter bunny’s efforts to sweeten the start of the week were undermined by a colleague who not only had found her two easter eggs after which she complained that she was growing  fat anyway (see also: heterosexual problems) but then nevertheless “found” another colleague’s (and good friend of hers) easter eggs and kept those since he isn’t coming in today anyway.

I hope that all of you who celebrate(d) Easter had a lovely & sweet easter and that all of you who celebrate(d) pesach had a lovely, sweet & kosher Pesach. Should I have forgotten any other holiday that just took place, please accept my sincerest apologies. I of course hope you had a lovely & sweet holiday as well.

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The award for the best organised boss goes to….

One of Charly’s colleagues was having her last day working at the university (before starting a new job in the USA) and so brought in cakes & biscuits for all her colleagues and the students presently undertaking projects in the department to indulge in.

The highlight was when the direct supervisor who is also head of department walked by, spotted the cake & asked cheerfully: “oh! Whose birthday is it today then?”

Charly’s colleague (who was having her last day): “no one’s. It’s my final day today?!”

Supervisor: “oh, really?!  I wasn’t aware of that.”

Then he just took a slice of cake and walked off.

Charly’s colleague certainly appreciated her soon to be ex-boss’s non-existent farewell wishes.

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Heterosexual Problems and a Restroom Fight

My sister Danny had a rather unpleasant encounter with an unknown woman (and later on her friend) in a restroom.

Danny was washing her hands after having used the other facilities during which she has been disturbed by someone rattling the door wildly to which she replied that the toilet is currently occupied.

The other women (whom Danny described as being overweight with a far too tight dress and unattractive make up) approached my sister and asked her why she had told her to “f-ck off” to which Danny dutifully answered that she had only said that the toilet was occupied.

This didn’t calm the overweight woman and she continued to ask Danny … weird questions like whether she ever suffered from a black eye and whether she was interested in having one. Anyone who isn’t Danny had noticed the thinnly disguised threat but Danny being Danny just treated the question about the black eye like a question whether she had already been to Malta and whether she would like to travel to Malta. So Danny told the woman truthfully that she never had suffered a black eye and all that she wanted was washing her hands.

At least Danny was permitted to wash her hands and the woman considerately only punched Danny into the face at that moment when she was about to leave the restroom. Totally taken by surprise this one punch sufficed to take Danny to the ground.

The overweight woman and her equally overweight friend who had kept herself top the background until that moment now started kicking Danny and pulling her hair. In addition Danny sustained a marked scratch under her left eye.

The story ended with Danny’s lucky escape and the two security people questioning the two  overweight women who claimed that it was Danny who initiated the fight after Danny had told security about the incidence.

Fortunately nothing much happened as the scratch narrowly missed her eye and Danny is “just”  bruised all over her body and possibly lost some of her hair in that incidence.

At least Danny continues to be Danny. Lying in her bad with a glowing red scratch prominently in her face she just looked at me and said:  “I don’t know why she attacked me. I didn’t even tell her how sh-t her make up looked or that her dress made her look incredibly fat.”

I released a sigh. Was this just Danny’s naivety paired with an unhealthy degree of pacificism or was this indicative of the genuine heterosexual problems?

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So much fail in just one night 2 (Flirtation gone wrong XI)

I’ve been out & about with Sam who’s British-Asian and several men have shown an interest in him – and had interesting things to say, too.

Man number two picked up on Sam’s eyes and also his skin colour.

Man 2: You look a bit foreign.

Sam: My mother is Chinese.

Man 2: did you also grow up in China? Whereabouts are you exactly from?

Sam: I grew up in Hong Kong.

Man 2: are you in Britain for long now?

Sam: A couple of years.

Man 2: Oh, that’s why your English is so good. Have you been to the South? You speak a bit like a Southerner already!

Sam (drily): this could be because English is my first language.

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So much fail in just one night (Flirtation gone wrong X)

I’ve been out & about with Sam who’s British-Asian and several men have shown an interest in him – and had interesting things to say, too.

The exchange between Sam and the man got interesting from the following point onwards.

Man: Are you from the South? You’ve an accent.

Sam: I’m from the South indeed. Can you guess where from?

(note: people are mostly wrong when asked to guess where he grew up)

Man: Brighton, maybe?

Sam: no, a bit further south. I’m from Hong Kong.

Man: Oh, Hong Kong! That’s so interesting! So do you speak Japanese then? I’ve always thought about learning that. It’s such an interesting language.

Sam: No?! No, I don’t speak Japanese. I’m from Hong Kong.

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