Maybe Charly shouldn’t turn to an ex-lover for dating advice?

“You good to talk?” Charly sounded like it was important – after all she didn’t even bother to ask me how I was doing and additionally it was a bit late for Charly’s normal calls.

“You know I think Claire…” Claire was Charly’s date whom she had seen for a couple of times and they appeared to be having a great time.

“Yes?” I was fearing that Claire had decided that  there would be no further dates.

“I think that Claire may be a bit … well, weird.” Charly was careful & hesitant when uttering the last word.

“Weird? What do you mean?” I was really under the impression that they were having a great time together and now I was getting more confused by the minute. Was there any sense behind this phone call?

“I haven’t told you but the first time I was at hers and I took of my shoes she asked me which shoe size I wear.”

Charly’s shoe size or the size of her feet really aren’t bad or worrying at all. I  know that Charly has another issue with her feet and as such doesn’t like to discuss her feet at all.

“Another time Claire was touching me feet when… you know.”

Oho. I thought that I started to understand the problem. Charly always makes sure that she applies antiperspirants to her feet and she does that for a reason. So any occupation with her feet are something that always reminds her it is a problem zone. Though if her feet were giving her (and Claire) problems the last thing I’d done is touching the feet. I’m very certain that anyone who hasn’t got a fetish for feet would exactly do the same and avoid contact.

“and then, then she bought me socks as a present!” Charly wasn’t amused.

“What’s so bad about that?!” I seriously wasn’t getting it. Charly has a problem with her feet but no emergency has occurred and her date appeared to like her feet and apparently hasn’t even discovered the problem. So by any normal standards Charly should by now be over the moon. But she wasn’t. Far from it.

“WHAT’S SO BAD ABOUT IT!?” Charly certainly wasn’t amused. “Seriously can’t you see it?!”

“No, I seriously don’t see your problem.” I was trying hard but I nevertheless failed.

“Look, how weird does anyone have to be to ask me about my shoe size, touch my feet – when you know and buy me socks as a present?”

I have to admit that it is certainly weird to be very occupied with Charly’s feet. But I never imagined it to be a problem for Charly.

“Oh, are you still jealous?!”

True, it was Charly who had broken up with me. (Note for anyone who has no or little experience with lesbians: it is fairly normal that ex-girlfriends still get along very well.)

“No, I’m not jealous. What are you talking about?” I was getting annoyed and unfortunately I wasn’t very good at hiding it.

“Well, otherwise you wouldn’t be so unsupportive when I’m facing this! Do you have any more to say?” Now Charly was annoyed as well. – Maybe lesbian ex-girlfriends don’t get along as well as previously assumed?

But in order not to destroy the last chance of getting along with Charly I didn’t reply that I’d loved to add that I’m absolutely speechless about Claire’s fascination with Charly’s feet. After all I had the pleasure of the problem without antiperspirants once and it genuinely puzzles me how anyone could touch Charly’s feet, let alone volunteeringly touch Charly’s feet.

About Kim Karlstein

Member of the gay conspiracy in one of the regional offices in the UK. The conspiracy you lately constantly heard about. Other than plotting how to take over world I have fairly normal hobbies. My gravatar is taken with thanks from wikimedia commons.
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