What do homosexuality, human rights and soy have in common? (Hint: all are plots to control the world.)

Another day another dozen of conspiracy theories – at least if you happen to be gay/bi or Jewish or both. So now I’ve now got the pleasure to cover all those horrible things for which gays and/or Jews are responsible once again.

Of course it all starts with the well-reasoned notion that it is Zionists who spread homosexuality around the globe in an attempt to destabilise the world so that Jews can control it. The centre of the gay epidemic according to the Iranian media is Tel Aviv as it is full of Jews, gays & LGBT Jews. This notion of course fits nicely with the view of the Haredi (ultra-orthodox Jewish) mayor of Beith Shemesh who was very confident when he asserted that there weren’t any gays in his town – after all it is a deeply religious town. Furthermore Beit Shemesh doesn’t appear to have any Asian restaurants or soy based food products on sale as we’ve learned from a haredi rabbi that it is soy & soy-based products which make men gay. I’d love to write that both the mayor and the rabbi were joking and that their statement were only examples of Jewish humour but unfortunately humour isn’t considered kosher in ultra-orthodox Judaism.

To counteract the soy-based Zionist  threat of homosexuality (which is aided by both the UK & the USA according to the Iranian media though I haven’t understood how they do it) the imam of a mosque based in Luton, England has outlined his vision of a perfect society which naturally was a sharia-based Islamic society in which homosexuals would be severely punished. To help improve the mainly Muslim society of Oman the government started suing journalists who had dared to cover gay topics.

If you’re like me outraged at the lack of press freedom as well as the overall lack of human rights in Oman fear not because a smart imam from Malaysia (they eat soy based foods there, don’t they?) has explained that human rights but especially LGBT rights are just a plot brilliantly invented to destroy Islam.

So if the idea about gays who constitute not more than 10% of this planet’s population (and who also may be Muslim) have made up powerful ideas which could destroy a religion currently followed by more than 20% of the world population and who are aided by Israelis who constitute hardly more than 0.1% of the world population (and even on occasion manage to poison themselves with soy unless they live in Beit Shemesh) is too much to stomach, I suggest that you get some food. Preferably with soya sauce. And if you want to be really evil you could even sprinkle soya sauce on the next portion of kosher or halal food around you.

About Kim Karlstein

Member of the gay conspiracy in one of the regional offices in the UK. The conspiracy you lately constantly heard about. Other than plotting how to take over world I have fairly normal hobbies. My gravatar is taken with thanks from wikimedia commons.
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