The Malaysian government has drafted the “symptoms” of being gay. That will come in handy in case you don’t have a gaydar and you live in largely homophobic states like Malaysia where you just can’t pop into your local gay bar for a pint (or something non-alcoholic of course).
The symptoms of ensuing homosexuality are among others a love for V-neck sweaters and bright coloured clothes if you’re a man. In addition the government was quick to emphasise that another common symptom was the feeling of attraction towards men. If you’re a woman symptoms include …. hang on!… being attracted to women and not being attracted to men. – That really clears things up for lonely lesbians who’d like to meet like-minded folk.
But even male folk who avoid v-neck sweaters above sleeveless tops and swap their brightly coloured trousers against a darker pair the danger isn’t entirely over. If their teachers think that any given young man is too “feminine” (that’s possibly the shorthand for being considerate of womens’ feelings, applying very high standards of personal hygiene, not belching loudly or being constantly involved in fights) they can be
sentenced ordered to take part in a manliness counselling.
We do hope that such a young man is wise enough in sharing is newly learnt skills in the secret gay bar of his choice.